You Say "Fate", I Say "Magical Ability"

People are blessed (or cursed) with many different abilities. Some are very talented with their hands, while others seem to be able to understand physics. Some people can sing beautifully and other people take lovely photographs. I too have a magical ability. My special skill is the ability to attract law enforcement officials ANY time I am driving my car.Part of this ability stems from my apparent aversion to paying my registration on time. I'm really not sure what that's about. I pay other things on time, most of them monthly. But this yearly forking over of the dollars to the State Of California seems to bring out my obstinate side.Side note - since taking pictures of law enforcement officials when they are dispensing tickets is a bit of a faux pas, please allow me to entertain you with other pictures throughout this tale.The Kitty Bed War ContinuesHowever, I have hit an all time record this year. I have been pulled over not once, not twice, but three times. And the year isn't over yet. In January I was pulled over for expired tags. Did this prompt me to run out the next day and pay my registration? No, it did not. I waited until March. Then in July, I achieved my all time personal best. Pulled over IN FRONT OF MY APARTMENT for expired tags, expired driver's license AND no proof of insurance. A veritable misdemeanor trifecta! Actually my license wasn't really expired. It was suspended! Yeah, April, you go girl! Why was my license suspended? Unresolved tickets for expired tags from 2004 and 2007. Can you see a pattern here?The Fish - They're Still Alive!This necessitated a trip to Traffic Court. That was fun, I kinda felt like I was on Law & Order. Well once that was done I went back to the DMV to get my driver's license reinstated and to get my registration current. SURPRISE!!! Two unresolved tickets for expired tags from 2003! I certainly wish that the DMV would get a little more current with their data entry.For Pete's Sake, Enough With The Granny Squares!So back to Traffic Court I went. Of course I had to wait until they went through everyone else because I was a "repeat offender" and was actually two cases in one. And as I was leaving the court room, the Court Deputy smiled at me and said, "Hey! Don't be a stranger!" Right. So after all of this, I figured I was done for the year. I mean, really, don't you agree that I've spent enough time in Traffic Court, talked to enough people at the DMV and been pulled over enough times to finally catch a break? No.As I was driving home tonight, NOT TWO BLOCKS FROM MY HOME, there were those old familiar red lights in my rear view mirror. A warning notice. Rear tail light out and no proof of insurance. Am I good or what?